In a relationship where the Female is in control there is often a written contract between Her and the submissive man that helps serve as a guideline for the relationship. In a Female led relationship it is a very good idea for a written contract that helps clarify the role of each partner. A written contract is not a legally binding document, it is only used to help the couple clarify their roles and duties in the relationship. The contract should be talked about in detail first and each partner should be allowed input as to their needs and wants. Do not rush into signing the contract, make sure both partners are happy with everything in the contract first. Have a cooling off period of a few days or weeks before you sign the contract.

Entering into a Female Led Relationship is a big commitment. Much like a marriage, a Female Led Relationship is a very serious agreement between two partners that dictates how they live, work, play and interact, all with the female in charge. Unlike marriage, however, many Female Led Relationships start with a contract that actually dictates and lays out exactly what is expected of each partner (something I’m sure many vanilla couples wish they had when their spouse isn't keeping up their end of the marriage). Making this contract is a very important step in any Female Led Relationship, and many important considerations must go into drafting this contract to ensure the happiness and fulfillment of both the Dominant female and the submissive male in the couple.

When first sitting down to draft this contract, make sure you create a space where both partners can speak openly and honestly without fear of judgement or retribution. It can difficult to ask for exactly what you want out of the relationship, especially if you’re new to a Female Led Relationship, but laying things out up front can make all the difference between a happy relationship and one that falls apart. Let both the Dominant female and the submissive male speak openly about their desires, wants, needs and wishes for the relationship, and take notes. It can also be helpful for each person to explain why they want certain things so that they can better understand one another and can truly work to write up a contract that suits each other’s needs.

Once you’ve begun to talk about what each person wants out of the Female Led Relationship, you can begin to work towards specific agreements. Outline the role of each person in the relationship including what their duties and responsibilities are. For example, you may want to include that the Dominant’s role is to always be in charge and make decisions, and take responsibility for running the finances and practical aspects of the home while the submissive is in charge of completing all tasks assigned to him when at home and always deferring to the will of his Wife. Make sure you outline consequences for not following up on responsibilities, and place limits on what punishments can be used when corrective actions are necessary. A Female Led Relationship contract should span all aspects of the couple’s lives, so be sure to include daily responsibilities around the house, social responsibilities and roles when out in public, and private expectations and limitations. It is better to be thorough and overly specific upfront than to run into conflict later, so be as clear as possible and include as many details as you can.

Also keep in mind that while a Female Led Relationship is a very serious commitment akin to marriage, situations always change. Make sure there is a way for either party to remove themselves from either an isolated situation where they are uncomfortable and find themselves being pushed past their limits (safe words or gestures are often used in this instance) or from the situation as a whole. It can be made clear in the contract that this is not the desired outcome of the relationship, but if something does occur and one party wants to leave, there should be a way for this to happen.

It can be daunting to sit down and draft a life plan, but the more seriously and attentive the task of drafting a Female Led Relationship contract is taken in the beginning, the more healthy, more satisfying the relationship will be for the entire duration of the Female Led Relationship. Don’t be afraid to include details, and ask for what you really want. If you do, the contract will reflect the relationship and will allow for a happy, healthy Female Led Relationship that truly meets the needs and desires of both the Dom and the Sub.


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