Letting the female take the lead and be in control is part of many fantasies for both men and women. Female Led Relationships (FLR) are one of the most common relationships, and many traditional couples experiment with FLR play even if they are not interested in the lifestyle. But for women to have a desire to live the Female Led Relationship lifestyle it can be tricky to get their male partners to agree, especially if they began their relationship as equals and showed no preference towards FLR at the onset. So what can you do if you’re a woman and you’d like to evolve your current relationship towards a Sub/Dom arrangement?

The first thing you need to do as a woman wishing to become a Dominant female in a Female Led Relationship is to fully educate yourself. For each woman being the Dominant can mean totally different things and play into totally different emotional needs. Read as much as you can from resources on Female Led Relationship agreements and on other’s experiences in the lifestyle. Then sit down and really think about what aspects of this lifestyle you are drawn to and why. Once you bring it up to your male partner you will need to be able to explain this in great detail so that he can fully understand your motivations and make his decision accordingly. Also for some women the idea of a Female Led Relationship is merely a fantasy, and with focused thought on the issue they may realize they simply want FLR play or part- time Sub/Dom in their marriage, not the full lifestyle approach.

Next you need to bring up this topic with the man you’re interested in turning into your submissive. Keep in mind that this is a sensitive subject for many men. If they’re interested immediately they may be ashamed that they want to become submissive, and if they’re appalled they may be so bothered that this is what you want that they may leave altogether. Slowly approaching the subject through easy, light conversation is best. Talk about simple aspects of Female Led Relationship that you might enjoy, and see if he would be willing to do a play session where you are the Dominant woman. Ask for pampering, anything from sexual favors to having him massage your feet or paint your toe nails, and see how he does and how he responds. If you get a positive response from this gentile approach (and you’ll know by his eagerness to do what you please or his immediate arousal and friskiness in bed), push a little harder. But don’t just Dominate constantly and make it all about you, play into his fantasies and make sure he’s enjoying the change in the relationship as much as you are.

If you find your man enjoys the submissive role for play or part time fun, then you can start a deeper conversation on the conversion to a Female Led Relationship. Keep in mind though that for many men play is okay, but switching to be a full time submissive can be a step too far. Discuss what you both want and see if each of your desires can work together towards a Female Led Relationship. But if he does show interest, don’t be afraid to just ask and make demands. The only way you’ll find out if he is a good submissive man is to test the waters and see.

It can be tricky to broach this subject with a man that is not already a submissive male. You have to keep in mind that for some men this may be too much and they may need to break it off. But for some this will feed right into their deepest desires. You can’t know until you ask, so take charge, stand up and start living the Female Led Relationship lifestyle you’ve been desiring.

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